Versions Of Me

 

My favorite version of me. Mama, caregiver, healing, mess of something Steph

I know you’ve seen that saying that goes something like, “We’re lucky to have friends that have witnessed multiple versions of us and stuck by us throughout them.” Looking back on the phases of me, it’s almost hard to believe.

My very early twenties I was fearless. I’ll title it “Braveheart”. Moving so young so far away taught me about life. I came back home realizing how much there was to explore in the world. I grew up so much going through the experiences I went through. My mid to late thirties I would say I was a heartbreaker. I broke hearts. I also couldn’t get enough of learning. I obtained my degrees, and I traveled and saw so many amazing things. I also found out my father had cancer which made me the said heartbreaker. How can you be emotionally available when your world is falling apart? Looking back on that period in my life, while so much fun; there was a lot of heartbreak to myself. 

My thirties were ten years of back-to-back losses and grief. I also became a mama and my reality completely shifted. Long were the days of me being the stone fox I was in my twenties. I became celibate and focused on healing and getting myself through the next obstacle one after another. Since my late twenties I have been a caregiver to both my mom and my dad. That was all I knew for well over a decade. So far at 40? I want peace and serenity. Being the best I can be for Kevin, calming my nervous system and taking care of myself are my main priorities. Looking back, every version of Steph I could totally hug. She did the best she could and I’m so proud of us!